Mental Health/psychology Thread

Oh, I thought you meant going into private practice or something.

 

Punk. I seem to attract narcissists in my dating ventures how do I break out of this cycle Lol 3 in the last 18 months now

 

Describe their narcissistic traits...

 

They talk about themselves a lot, strong first impressions (know how to get me interested/intrigued), actions dont match their words, always adjusting the goal posts and never admitting they were wrong

 

What is it about them that draws you to them, other than looks?

 

Well they've all pursued me lol all 3 asked me out first. Im not an assertive person unfortunately. I realize this now

 

that's weird. most girls don't ask guys out. what do you think it is about you that's drawing them?

 

No idea. But my friend pointed this out to me and I want to break this stupid pattern. Ugly endings with all 3.

 

Well, I guess if you want to rule out any narcissistic traits with the next girl you meet, have some conversations about yourself and your own hopes and goals and see if she tries to one-up you or shifts the topic to herself. Narcissists don't like to hear about how good others are.

 

@The Rock I don't think it's narcissistic at all to talk about one's self. I do that all the time. However, if these girls talk a lot about themselves, their passion about themselves need to be matched by a desire to understand you. I also do that when trying to get to know someone.

 

An slight update on some of the things I talked about earlier. I moved in with my girl today. It has gotten uglier than what I said ... but I am now living in Indiana. I actually don't know if this is the right thing or not, but I love her and I have the support system to get back to CA if this doesn't go well.

 

What's uglier?

 

This could also be in the religion thread, but anyone have any insight on the psychology behind religious faith or promise of life after death? Like the reasons behind why we want it, how we come to accept the faith, etc.

 

How about... does anyone have any insight on solipsism? This is a new concept that was introduced to me.

 

I think this is a really interesting question, but I forgot to respond to it initially. There seem to be many factors at play with the psychology of belief. I think it starts with our fear of the unknown. As a species, we have always needed to come up with explanations for why and how things happen. Every society has had their own creation myths and every society has explanations for their specific environments.

For example, some societies thought volcanic eruptions were due to volcano gods that needed sacrifices, or that thunder was from Zeus, or that good or bad crop harvests were from specific gods. What we don't know, we make up. When we have the scientific understanding of the REAL answer, we leave the myth and superstition. What we still don't know and have never known is the mystery of death. That is a topic that most of us still need myth to explain so we can sleep at night. It's not easy to assume we just go to nothingness and our consciousness ceases to exist at death. that's so freaky.

Our brains have evolved to recognize patterns and to search for agenticity in the natural world. Those early hominids who's brains were good at recognizing that a twig breaking may have had an agent behind it (predator), were more likely to survive. Agenticity still persists in us today. We get stuck at a red light, causing us to be 2 minutes late only to find out that 2 minutes ahead, there is a nasty fatal pileup on the freeway, leading us to find agenticity that something caused that to happen, saving us. Some say, look at the beauty and complexity of nature, there has to be a causal agent behind it. But there really doesn't.

Other psychological factors are also at play, such as confirmation bias, indoctrination, submission to authority, etc.