DOOMSDAY:Cookin The Tears Of The Oposition

but does it?

 

LOL

And with all of the comments about drinking, I wonder if it's a coincidence that I drink much less than I used to, and if that has anything to do with Russ no longer being a Laker.

 

You're truly a treasure Cookie :THT Heart Hands:

 

From a fishing boat somewhere bobbing along on the ocean swells.

 

lol

i have literally zero clue as to how kawhi isn't a total pariah. AD is the butt of every joke, and this dude just rolls in on game day like, "i'm sleepy" and sits out. it was a red flag in SA, and it's a red flag now. he cares about one thing only, and it's him.

 

i came here for some Sunday treats from the Golden State......

Please feed us some yummy DOOM

 

I

 

Hope this doom will leave you in a Golden State.. I had to work today but it looks like the GOAT Curry was made into a Goat Curry on his return by the Lakeshow

AD so big bro (yet at times so soft and frail like a crepe paper vol au vont)

Why was it obvious we were gonna lose Curry's first game back (Cry me a river Durant's burner account)

Cause Steve Kerr is a joke of a coach (If you think Kerr's a laugh riot how about the comedy stylings of Hambozo the Clowncoacho?)

Easily one of the most frustrating games i've watched in a long time. Every time it got close we just actively threw it away with bad turnovers and stupid shots. I don't think we even took the lead after it was like 7-6. Made it look like we were trying to take the lead back from the MJ bulls or something. Just such a grating game. (easy tiger you just won 5 in a row)

Maybe Poole should have attacked the rim instead of chucking 10 3s (the rim was all sphincter for you today and it says what...?)

Momentum on our side? Let’s chuck from 35ft. - Jordan Poole (we'll take that turd turkey off your hands for two first round picks and Steve Kerr).

Nah...we need more Poole step back 3's.

They are iconic at this point (the comments section is a Poole party, just need a cook out and it would be an epic summer again)

Kuminga had been a huge part of why we were on a 5 game winning streak, so naturally Kerr goes away from him today (Kerr sending mixed signals like the devil's traffic lights)

Awful choice for old man Iggy when JK kept us afloat the home game stand (old man iggy, udonis haslem, collison, melo howard, the glue factory starting 5, put them out to pasture, but lord just don't put them out to stud)

Kerr: Gotta play my baby boy Lamb, you know. (he loves drivin his lamboghini)

Lamb being on the court late in the 4th is a travesty. Literally anyone else, please. (that got damn lamb!!!!)

And, IDK, read the scouting report. The Lakers have no ballhandlers. Put Kuminga on Reaves and lets see if he can get it across half court. Ever. (fair comment)

My hunch is Kerr is:

1. Throwing out lineups to test
   
   
2. Showing s***ty rotations in the season to hide the real ones
   

We're usually outraged at this point in the year, IIRC (my hunch is he loves trolling you limp noodles and your hunch is why you ring bells for a living)

Yeah I don’t wanna hear s*** about how Kuminga makes mistakes when Lamb gets a f***ing 50 foot leash out there (Stevie had a little lamb it followed him to court one day his jumper broke as dirt)

lamb goes 2-10 and kerr throws him a bday party (it's his party and you'll cry if he wants to)

Refs acting like he was Edward scissor hands the way they were officiating him (And they were Amber Heard?, poor Johnny)

And the three guard lineup of Poole, Klay, and Curry DOES. NOT. WORK (Not enough shooting?)

 

Much easier to drive without Davis in the middle of the paint (our no fly zone, our road block and he has a soft pair of hands (and everything really) )

It's like Curry comes back and jacks up crazy shots, and then Poole etc feel like they too must jack up crazy shots. (they all want to be like Russ)

Why the hell did we use Iggy over Looney at the end? (Agreed, at his age Iggy is the passenger and he rides and he rides he rides on the bench it rips his backside, he is the passenger la la la la la la la la Iggy Pop folks)

Another chess move by Steve Kerr this season (True fact if you play Chess when everybody is playing checkers you actually make an illegal move and lose, I am sure he feels this criticism like a Jordan hit to the dome).

I hear Mark Jackson knows how he would run the Warriors! ( He would run them into the ground and then rebuild a giant church)

Seriously, we need a coach that actually knows how to win a championship. Until then we should just croudsource coaching from reddit.
(the noive, the noive actually said this about Kerr, off the bandwagon is that way)

Such a frustrating game. Every time we cut it to a one possession game they would score. I'm kind of getting sick of them coming out and playing so nonchalant in the first half and just assuming they'll complete a double digit comeback. (alice cooper says welcome 2 my nightmare)

It was winnable, but Poole chucks shots and refuse to attack the rim.

And also, Lamb played 27 minutes. That should be a sign that this game was a L. (Oh well, what's for lunch (answer DOOM)

AD just had an incredible game unfortunately. When he's healthy, he's absolutely one of the 10 best players in the NBA.(it's nice to be reminded of that)

Why did Andre get more minutes than Kuminga?? (because Andre the Giant has a posse!)

f*** man. Lamb can’t shoot for s*** (scouting report completed)

According to Kerr, age trumps everything. If you’re older, you’re the more valuable player. Big brain moves right there. (He would have loved Greg Oden he entered the league looking like Lebron's dad and had knee joints (patella) made out of the balls of a stegosaurus, he was driven by fossil fuel)

Kerr really doesn't like the Younglings for some reason, I doubt he would play Wemby for more than 10 minutes if we happen to land him (probably not) next season. (Don't even know if this is true or fair (a Phil Jackson strategy?) maybe they steal his old man candys)

Why live with young mistakes when you can lose game and not let young players develop? Clearly Lambs mistakes are more important than JKs mistakes. (maybe we could have got him to coach for us when we had season 9 of the walking dead playing for us last season)

If you’re a vet and you mess up, it’s ok because mistakes happen. If you’re a young player and you mess up, you’re clearly just not ready for the moment and you should probably be playing in the G League instead (I hear his policy on clouds is pretty rough too)

This performance made me feel physically ill. Lebron and DLo out, Curry’s first game back, all the momentum, and we still lost. It is impossible to get excited for the playoffs with how our performance has been on the road this year. At least Lamb hit his game limit. (Nobody cares, even telemarketers hang up on you)

Jordan Poole he literally wouldnt drive lmao (Our D got him with multiple dui's and took away his licence to drive)

Steve is a master when it comes to killing his own players momentum I mean seriously I’ve never seen anything like it (Do you like bacon, do you like pork how about Ham?)

Unimaginable that this same group clinched the title in Boston

We play like the rockets on the road now (now that has a ring to it)

Never rooted against a Warriors player in my life until now, and never felt more annoyed at Kerr (even when he lost us a game 7 in the finals) than I am after seeing him advocate for this dude.

There's always a Varejão. There's always a dude who Kerr loves for inexplicable reasons because he does some specific things that Kerr is obsessed with. The worst part about this one is he's also been credibly accused of sexual assault and I feel gross every time I see him in uniform.

Love this team generally but we're hard to watch with 40 on the court for so many reasons. (Sooo doomy)

See we are not the only unreasonable fans out there. Kerr is s***. Absoloute s***. And everybody else in the world is not much better. SO THERE!!!!!!

 

lol, some gold in the responses there.

interesting that they're mad at kerr about not playing the young guys. honestly, their young guys haven't impressed me very much. to play their style of basketball (which has had great success), you need to throw a bunch of multi-tool players out there, and kuminga and moody aren't really that at this stage. i certainly don't think they win the game if lamb sits and they play those guys more.

to me, they just hit a lower percentage of their wild-a** threes than they might at home. there's no defense for the shots that curry, thompson, and poole were putting up, and thankfully for us, they weren't all dropping like when lillard plays us.

 

Thank you for the yummy Doom. I didn't think we would handle the game well especially with Curry coming back but we did and well.... F those guys!

 

What's the backstory here? Who are they talking about?

 

Doom from the most grizzled of doomsayers the Showtime Mamba. This is the sort of doom they won't let you read with your shoelaces and your belt near at hand!!!



I’ve hit the numb stage which may be worse than the mad or sad stage (this doom ain't playin it sounds despondent)

Said it before but I’ve already lost hope for this season and it’s begun to bleed into my hope for future seasons. Something has to change with this team (you need a new sherrif which may explain why Ja had a gun)

i think it's because we've been having the exact same problems for months now with exactly zero adjustments, which draws into question whether this roster and staff are even capable of change. what's the definition of insanity... (trading for Russell Westbrook after watching the Lakers season I think)

Not just the team. The whole organization. How do you go a whole trade window and only make one move…and not even a really good one. Grizz will never get good players cause they keep the s***ty ones forever. Like brooks. (maybe you shouldn't hold war room takes in the titty bar to easy to lose your notes down a g string)

I can’t leave my couch. This feels like a life questioning loss. What are we doing here? (I sense mainlining chitos and mountain dew is the answer to your questions)

That’s where I’m at. I just briefly considered fully disconnecting from the rest of the season. (We were so briefly worried)

I'm ready to jump brother (dark)

Is this not hell? (darker)

Already dead inside , bro (darkest) I hope to God that this is rock bottom

The price of high expectations (oh a twinkie on the floor!)

Worse yes but a lot of these people live and die by social media and the team’s star is getting skewed by nephews and twitter bros.

Everyone loves a good redemption story and hopefully Ja can be that after he deals with whatever is going on.

More than half the people that post here (and way more than half in r/nba) are too young to even know what true gloom and doom is (the man below remembers)

Gloom and doom in the darkness of the tomb of doom. I remember those days well, and the horrible seats in the Pyramid (this daddy was a mummy in a past life)

Apathy is worse than anger. I don’t even care anymore (doom doom doom!!!)

We desperately need changes and I mean more than just Steven Adams coming back

Bane having a really off night was hurting and doesn't help when 3 players were on 5 fouls each.

Rough game but AD killed it.

Can't believe all doomsayers. Like what you expect going up against a team that has Anthony Davis and a good roster since the trade deadline when we're missing 2 starters and the 6th man of the team on the road?

Man, I sat down s*** with worse than this. I remember when Darko started. This is nowhere close to being bad. Young teams generally have stretches of bad during a season and we are like what one of the youngest teams in the league? Also Jenkins is a really good coach. Y'all making him seen like it's Marc Iavaroni or like David Fizdale.

Peeps need to chill. We were competitive despite Bane having a really bad night and that's all you can expect. No team goes super perfect. I mean the Knicks lost to the Hornets, and Warriors lost to OKC (2 in a row). Losses happen a lot unless you're an ungodly team (philosophic partly phlegmatic doom)

Yes but they have Anthony Davis and a good roster fit now they traded Westbrook and Thomas Bryant.

Also they are on a good streak winning 6 of their last 8 and beat GSW in their last game.

For sure it was winnable but Lakers made shots and Grizzlies didn't. That's where it comes down to. (rational doom)

I hit the stop watching at the end of the third quarter every game because I cant take this. (abandonment doom)

Im really running out of optimism. The temptation to hop on the Kings bandwagon (I moved to Sacramento last year) is really starting to hit.

I stayed strong through those tanking years. I convinced myself Andrew Harrison was a good basketball player. That Kobi Simmons could be a rotation piece. That Wayne Selden would figure it out. Yet I cant convince myself that this years Grizzlies team is capable of finishing out the season strong. I dont understand (so crazy i wanna run to the Queens doom)

I would never, under any circumstances turn my back completely on this team! I think deep down neither would you! But it’s hard man, the players are here, the talent is here, but the maturity and willpower is not (noble and stoic doom)

This is not a talent issue, and I really dont understand enough about basketball to see what the difference is between now and when we were winning... I just dont get whats happening rn (confused and hapless doom)

We're just not making shots. It happens. It's an 82 game season. And when you're missing a screen setter who can rebound, giving extra possessions, a generational point guard, and a solid 6th man, things aren't going to be easy on the offensive end.

Also credit to AD. Dude had a killer game. (balanced doom)


The temptation to hop on the Kings bandwagon (I moved to Sacramento last year) is really starting to hit.

The team is 38-26. Like c'mon. This isn't some like Chicago Bulls s***.

Eventually the Kings are going to have a stretch of poor games. It happens in the NBA. (say it ain't so doom)

Naw stay off the bandwagon! If you weren’t there when Nik Stauskus was putting up bricks, you’re not welcome! NO BEAM FOR YOU! (stay in your lane doom)

 

Thank yoy @The Showtime Mamba, that was some truly deilcious doom!!!!

 

Raptor doom from the Jurassic World to your very hearts. The Lakers with an extinction level event on the Raptors!!!

This is a lottery team wearing a Gucci belt (this is a classy comment)

I live in toronto but i support lebron and the lakers. What should I do? (go to raptor games dressed as drake and moon the cameras)

yeah. if you have to hide your #1 and #2 options in the clutch then it’s probably time to find a new #1 and #2 (is this Balmer with more toilet talk pooping up on Raptor chat?)

I gotta respect what Russell has done but f*** our bench man, they gave them all the momentum. (the raptors bench was a complete negative for every player, by the looks of this thread, the raptors bench could be outplayed by you know an actual pine bench at least it could trip up some players)

He's the OG ice in his veins guy for a reason (um bad circulation? No Russ had a tremendous game (did that put anyone in cold sweats when I say Russ?)

I didn't know Subway sandwich artists knew how to cook until I watched Austin Reeves turn GTJ into a toasted BLT (hillbilly Jarrod? no don't go there)

I thought people were exaggerating but literally every Lakers play, no matter how mundane, is posted on r/nba. This must have been how other fans felt about Scottie highlights last year. (we are legion)

Just because some d****** FO gave up ludicrous package for Gobert, doesn’t mean you can get same for Pascal eventho he is better (Gobert invented COVID, and then broke the Napoleonic code for the NBA trade value, what a French f***)

Has anyone tried those bare-skin raw condoms?? lol any good...and are they really made of bear skin? seems rather aggressive (out, out of the chat and into Dennis Rodman's DMs)

Sad raptor noises (closed caption doom for your pleasure from the Showtime Mamba)

Lmao that bench differential is nuts (sure is and it is teabaggin' you into submission)

Ping pong balls are all this team has this year (DOOM GLORIOUS DOOM)

Masai ANSWRR FOR UR SINS (the reckoning of an illiterate Demon awaits you he sold his soul to the Deville?)

Is Gary sick or something? He’s the anti-og tonight. Turnstile zero resistance or pressure on d and terrible on offence (he has lice in his veins)

Welp it was fun while it lasted lol (that's not what she said)

For anyone wondering why the bench doesn’t get much run… (give it some wheels)

 

Reaves is a good player, but he's not that good. He's clowning us. (damn straight, like a hillbilly pennywise)

“Sneaky athleticism (like sneaky shooting ability)

FVV better light it up in the fourth because you can’t give an epic speech like that and then lose the next game. (all van mouth, no van trousers)

Precious trying to get a flight to China, for some reason. (but he has lost weight since his biopic at least)

Vanderbilt bout to put Siakam in jail (protecting and serving the evildoers)

Why is FVV still employed (umm social welfare?)

How tf they getting cooked by a doordash driver? (more like he is doing a drive by on you)

Austin Reaves

Soon to be a Raptor Killer

Or do we just give it to him now (look up in the sky is that a shooting star or a giant meteorite?)

Another game where we make a bench player look like the second coming of Kobe. Austin Reeves has more fts basically than our whole team.(well at least a hillbilly one, TRUTH, it makes me sad to think Kobe might have been enjoying or watching this game with GG)

I’m praying to god that this team doesn’t make the play in keep me away from vomit ball for another 5 months (Vomit ball???? is that when your team keeps choking)

Masai is cooked.(why did you add an extra o?)

Trent is literal dog poo (in a good way or a bad way?)

Lol Nick Nurse called a timeout (not just us!)

We’re about to be on Espn , houseofhighlights, bleacher report, the score, tiktok, twitter , YouTube all bc of Dlo (could be worse he put a teammate of TMZ once)

At what point will the masses realise that an all-nba selection and all-star appearances don't make you a #1 option? If they're running this back with Pascal leading the core this team will be doing f*** all for the next four seasons. What a waste of time. (the curse of the all star that is not a top all star just a tidy player)

Tank commander Fred (no tank you)

Stop complaining about the refs. Team f***ing sucks it’s not the refs (the refs are FINE says FVV)

Gary is so s*** two games in a row. This guy is a worse version of Malik monk and he wants to get paid 20m (the North American dream to f*** up a roster with a bloated contract and to ultimately to be paid not to play)

I think the refs are pissed at us guys! (I sense the sepulchral hand of Adam Silver at play)

We had two 30+ year old "veterans" on the floor that helped the Lakers take over the lead (the vets should have put your old yeller team down)

dude I would rather play f***ing Flynn over Gary atp just GET GARY OUT OF THE GAME (the Gary fan club at play)

This game just screams fourth quarter collapse. And of course this is coming against the team I hate more than any other in any sport. (in behalf of our fanbase can I offer you a concilliatory SUCK IT)

The raptors defence is PATHETIC and their effort is DISGUSTING (new slogan)

I watched that first quarter. It wasn't Fred making things happen for those interested. He was forcing up bad shots and letting guys cross him out of his shoes. (basketball rope a dope).

Lakers' TV colour commentator kind of sounds like what I imagine the bird in the Baltimore Orioles logo sounding like lol (Stu?)

fred back on his b*******. This team has the I.Q of a door knob (DOOM DOOM)

Og is like *uck your tacos (he deserves a karma coma for that)

Gary is 0 for 8!!!!!!!!! holy moly (it's gotta be the shoes)

Our defence is like that meme of a cheeto as a deadbolt lock.

eject AD he doth protect too much (clever)

Really impressed with lakers announcers. I wish every team including ours were like this (cheers)

How did Achiuwa shoot 36% last season?? He’s dropped a full 10% (did he sign a secret Lakers contract?)

It’s alright guys, 14 more games. We’ve almost made it to the end. Anyone still sticking around and watching this team has officially earned their “real one” ( card. It’s been an ugly one lol. (the race to public disgrace)


EDITORIAL. Not a bad fanbase at all, very distraught about their season and blaming Siakim, Trent, Nurse, Masai whoever. I really enjoyed the game today and it was great to pick up a needed win with the Blazers and Timberwolves losing. - your everloving Showtime Mamba.

 

This is so very true. Almost no bias or homerism. Give credit where it's due. Praise other teams' players. Chick taught them well.

 

I would fly half the world to Toronto, pack his bags and the moving track and take Nurse to LA to replace the Bacon Pimple Brain ... personally.

 

The standard.