How To Get A Woman To Buy You Clothes....

I've lived a pretty sheltered life. Grew up in a very conservative church. Got married at 18 because I wanted to have sex. (Loved her, but just being honest) Married for 24 years....

divorced in the last year....

and just recently started dating. Kind of a whole new world out there since I basically hadn't dated anyone else since 16.

I had a girlfriend tell me about JORTS, and how they were completely out of style for a decade or two lol. I had to laugh pretty hard about that, as I had no idea there was even a name to make fun of the jean shorts.



Turns out I still own 3 pairs, and I typically wore them when mowing our acre sitting on the riding mower. (Before I gave the ex the house) Durable, could wipe my hands on them, wasn't worried about ruining them, etc. Oh, and apparently it's ok for girls to wear them, but not guys. See Country music concert....

So since I knew she was completely horrified by them (Very fashion conscious and in the world of medical sales), I wore them to her 10 year old son's basketball game. Along with sandals she dubbed my Jesus shoes. And to top it all off, I wore a grumpy cat tshirt to finish the ensemble. As you can see, she's quite the character herself, so it was all in good fun.



Her ex happened to be at the game, and for some reason she didn't introduce me.

Immediately after the game she took me to Old Navy and bought me new clothes and tried to bring into this decade with at least one outfit.

Now, even though I am no longer dating her, I occasionally will send her pics from this site: http://www.jorts.com/


Kind of like People of Walmart, but dedicated just to jorts. (Some of the comments will crack you up)

Sooooo, if you are really likable, kinda cute, but fashion unaware, you should wear jorts and women will buy you clothes. Please post your pictures of successful transactions.

Did you miss me?

 

Glad to have you back Sirron!

 

Sirron...my boss has had a similar story as you have over the last year or so. At least the basic foundation I've received so far.

And the jorts. This dude came into the office wearing only jorts. Jorts that were maybe a foot long at most. No s***. Just the jorts. He looked like Tobias Funke.

 

Even if CL is on its way out....you can't replace s*** like this

 

All hope for CL isn't lost yet.

 

HAHAHA. Oh god, Wiz. I am dying of laughter.

 

I swear on my life his outfit was the exact same as Tobias' right there in that picture. Minus the eyeglasses. He even told me "Don't make fun of my shorts, I was at the beach." As if that made it okay, lol.

 

I am not sure you should like that "Tobias Funke" post Barns, it looks wrong just beneath the picture.