Discussion in 'Open Discussion' started by davriver209, Nov 15, 2014.
Show her your smilies page. If she doesn't run, she's a keeper
What are you trying to say?
Definitely sounds like she has you has intrigued. Best of luck, you can't let the questions stay inside your heart they gnaw at you. Sometimes thinking about a special someone can burn more calories than a full court match against Russell Westbrook.
Few bits of advice from an old-timer.
1. There is someone out there for everyone. I've seen ridiculous people in happy relationships. If they can do it, so can you.
2. Like @ZenMaster said, get outside and experience life and meet people. Opposite sex, friends, etc and enjoy life. Focus on YOU. Find a hobby. Take a class. Volunteer. Take a neighbors dog to the dog park. That is a GREAT place to meet people.
3. On-line dating. It's not some weird thing. So many people do it and you are dipping into a large pool.
4. Get over the fear of rejection! I say this, because this is something I struggled with. But once you don't care, your confidence grows and you'll be amazed! Trust me on this one.
5. Find someone that builds you up and makes you a better person. Try to do the same for them. Don't play games. Tell them what you're feeling.
Best of luck!
All wise words
so go on apps like Tinder or Match
if I want to find the ultimate catch?
Tinder? No. Match? Yes.
I'm not rhyming in Open Court dammit! I actually met a few nice ladies on Tinder. Many people are using it a free dating app, and broadcast up front they aren't looking for hookups. I have a funny story about that (Typical sirronstuff fashion), but I'll save that for another day. The downside of Tinder? You have no idea if you are compatible on any other level besides looks. You don't get matched unless you both like the other person visually. At least with a well developed profile like on Match, you can look a little deeper and not end up going out with someone and wasting time/money that is completely incompatible on a huge number of levels.
But sometimes they are just cute.....and you don't really give a crap. I have one of those stories too....
I thought maybe I had a chance. But no dice. Time to extinguish the torch and move on. No use bothering someone just doesn't think of you as being at their level.
Starting to finally understand why someone might put "It's complicated" as their relationship status on Facebook.
She had balls?
She's the sister of one of my best friends ... and she's married ... in an unhappy/neglectful/abusive marriage that she rushed into and now feels obligated to maintain because of her citizenship status
That's not complicated. Run!!!
Rescuing does not equal relationship unfortunately.
Don't do it @Helljumper
Too many problems just with that little description of the situation to make it worth it.
Alright first whine and moan about girls post and in need of some advice....
I've been seeing this girl for about 9 months now, with a period of a 2 months inbetween where we broke it off, but eventually got back together. I'm posting today because in about a month I will be moving to start my residency, which is 3 hours away. We have talked about moving together for awhile now, so much so they she has been looking for jobs and such at the new place. This is a big no no in my family, on top of the fact that my mom and sister don't care for this girl to begin with. This same sentiment is felt by my friends (In that they don't think the move is right, nor do they care for her that much), and my doctor friends that don't think the move is right. I do love this girl, but the constant thought of my family and friends not caring for her is always in my head and makes me want to rethink this decision and tell her that moving in isn't right. It also makes me think about the future and how family gatherings, hanging out with friends, will always be awkward and putting unnecessary stress on me. By saying we shouldn't move we would more than likely break up. Do I listen to my family/friends? Any advice would be appreciated. I'm trying to defuse this situation in the most civil way possible, but I feel either way I'm hurting somebody.
Does she love you? If so, then your parents and friends will hopefully figure that out over time. I'm assuming they object to her because they care about you.
If she loves you, then I don't think that'll keep her from moving in with you. She's in a relationship with you. Not with them.
When Kobe married Vanessa, his parents objected. They're still together.
Just my 2 cents.
What is it about her they don't like?
I sent you a PM Punk.
For this many people in your life to feel this way, does seem to be a very relevant question. What are they seeing that you are able to ignore?
I was in love with my ex. My friends and family hated her. I understood why. She was always a b**** to other people, flew off the handle easily, and generally quick to anger about little things and vindictive. They all expressed that they didn't like her, but over time they grew to accept her. Accept her for my sake... they never liked her. Fast forward to today, and now that I'm not in love with her, I can see clearly what they were talking about, and now that she's not in love with me she's just as vindictive towards me as she would be towards anyone else. That wouldn't be a problem, but we have kids together, so I'm going to be dealing with her for the rest of my life.
For you there are only two choices. Which one is the truth?:
A. Your friends and family are wrong because they're focusing on some superficial aspect of her, such as ethnicity, social class, culture, socially awkward, looks, etc. You should not break up with her if this seems to be about them not liking some superficial aspect of who she is. These are minor problems they can (possibly) get over in time, and you don't seem to mind if you love her.
B. Your friends and family are right and you should break up with her if they are cautious of some flaw she has as a human being. If she is violent, abusive, selfish to a fault, crazy, gold digger, etc. This is something you don't want in your life, and something you can't, and don't want to try to fix. Believe me.